The God We Serve

The air was crisp.

It was a late September night and we were traveling to our new location for our worship night. 

The sky was clear.  The stars were glimmering.  

As I walked, I was already an emotional train wreck waiting to happen.  The burdens and responsibilities of the day…of the week…and of the semester were weighing in, feeling very overwhelmed, over worked, and tired.

Assignments were piled high, meetings were ruling my schedule, and there didn’t seem to be enough hours in the day.

I was overwhelmed and up until the first song was trying to strategize when I was going to do what homework assignment, set up the next appointment with this person, and decide how in the world was I going to get it all done.

The service was to be held outside and as we were just about ready to start singing, when the worship leader asked us to turn the other direction, to not face them, and sing so that our focus was solely on the Lord and not the crowd around us or the people leading in front.

That was the moment I saw the stars for what they were, sparkling, declaring the name of the Lord.  The coolness of the night made it so that you could see your breath when you sang, signifying that fall was quickly approaching.  As I looked up at glorious stars, Psalm 33:6 ran through my mind, “By the word of the LORD the heavens were made, their starry host by the breath of his mouth”.

Even as life had seemed to be so quickly unraveling at the seams, my focus and attention was drawn to my Heavenly Father.

…I thought the world couldn’t hit me any harder…the Lord hit me harder still…

As the music played, tears started rolling down my cheeks.  The Father that breathed out the stars, that deserves the most praise…that is our God.

How often in life do we view the size, power, and faithfulness of our God by our circumstances?

We are so quick to explain our case, to share our chaotic busy schedules that we have no idea how we are going to get done.

As I worshiped and reflected, the thought came of “how many times do I approach the Lord with telling Him about the world?”

In looking at the ratio, I discovered I very rarely told the world who my God is. 

Busyness of the week ahead. The trials that scream for answers. The potential road bumps that are never on my radar. I must choose to center my thoughts on the Lord. Who He is. Who is was. And who He always will be.

In the quiet whispers of the night the Lord said, “Tell me who I am…” I began listing all of who my God was.

You are a God who never stops loving, a God who always wins, a God who rescues, who goes to battle, who is in control, who is always faithful, who was the power in David’s swing, the calm in Daniel, and fortress for Ruth, you are the God that led the Israelites, who is constant in a world made of chaos, who is my best friend always willing to listen, who always understands, who gives purpose, who always knows what I need even when I don’t, who is holy, who is the King of Kings, who is the master artist painting each sunrise and sunset with uniqueness and an array of brilliant color…that God is my Daddy.

Next thing I knew, the tears that were falling had turned into tears of thankfulness.  Tears of Thank you…

Thank you for being powerful, for your new mercies every morning, for being sovereign, for standing in the front lines, for covering me with love, for being my rock and place of refuge, for extending grace, for holding me close, for knowing my heart, for speaking to me, for being the well-spring of life, for defending me, for reaching out your hand, for being enough and all I need, for being the perfect guide, for being BIGGER than my circumstances.

When you shift your perspective, you shift the control.  When I started reciting who my God was and remembering all that He has done, my world, my seemingly crazy life, was not so crazy anymore…it was surrendered. Surrendered to the character of my God.

And the character of my God…

Is never failing.

Is always the same.

And structured on His promises. 

Instead of seeing Jesus in the box with my circumstances, I saw Jesus carrying them. Saying, “I got this my child. Just follow me.”

What freedom there is in Jesus. What freedom there is in remembering the God we serve. In not letting our circumstances define our God, but letting our God define our circumstances.

It is in those moments, where God takes us on an adventure.

As I walked back, I felt like I had just realized more of who my Father is.  The Father that stands in the front lines of battle with me, protecting me, saving me, and covering me with a love that is endless…and relentless.  

Who is He to you? Do you spend your time telling Him about your circumstances more than stating who He is?

You count every single blessing, moment of grace, and characteristic of who God is because your God…your God, is a God filled with I AM. And sometimes, when you recognize who your God is, you realize that your crazy schedule, burdens, and unknowns aren’t nearly as big as your Heavenly Father.

The Identity Crisis

God has conveniently placed me geographically hours upon hours away from my college friends, forcing me to focus on "His and I's" relationship, not our relationship through my friends.  The question that God seems to keep asking and resurfacing in my mind is, "Without your support group of friends physically around you, without attending a school that encourages you to go to chapel and be with Me, Who am I to you, Who do you believe I am?" In other words, where does my faith stand? Better yet, where is my identity? Is my identity in my friends, future, school, works...or my God, Who is always consistent and the Giver of grace?

Looking ahead to this summer and next school year, I am going to be working at Kanakuk Kamps as a counselor for seven to thirteen year old girls, be a Resident Assistant, and teach an actual lesson to a real class for my teaching practicum, all of which I have never done before.  In frantically telling this to one my dear friends Mary, I, for lack of a better term, "word vomited" all my fears and potential failures that could occur, labeling myself as a walking disaster to myself, family, friends, and God!! On top of that, who am I, a nineteen year old girl, to be a camp counselor to these girls, be in charge of a unit, or teach to a classroom filled with students?! And there, in those words, formed my identity crisis paralyzing me from wanting to move forward into the unknown.  God spoke through Mary that day and taught me a very valuable lesson on identity.

You see, my identity was based off of works and what I could perform, how much success I would have or not have, how God would disown me for not performing up to par, and how there was no way I was capable of doing any of those jobs.  My faith, therefore, was formulated out of works, fears, and status.  But fortunately, that is not the life our Lord has called us to live.  No matter what you face in life, your identity in the Lord will never change.  In giving your life to God, you have been sealed by the blood of Jesus Christ.

"Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ.  He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." ~2 Corinthians 1:21-22

 Regardless of job title, outcome, or friends, your identity will still be a beloved son or daughter of the King.  Walking into the situation either of the unknown or known and out of...your identity is anchored in the Constant, freeing you to actually LIVE, not be crippled by your fears of amount or quality of works!

When coming face to face with our drive to work for grace for our identity the Lord says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ to do good works, in which God prepared in advance for us to do." ~Ephesians 2:8-10

What else needs to be said?

What a change in mindset. From "what me, myself, and I can humanly do and perform" identity...to the "steadfast, unwavering love and purpose of being a heir of Jesus Christ" identity.  We are free from our fears and doubts. So my friends...shine! Shine your light and walk in confidence of your identity in your beloved Father, no matter where He might take you.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. 

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 

It is our light, not our darkness

That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? 

You are a child of God.

Your playing small 

Does not serve the world. 

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking 

So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, 

As children do. 

We were born to make manifest 

The glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; 

It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, 

We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. 

As we're liberated from our own fear, 

Our presence automatically liberates others."

  ~Marianne Williamson

The questions then become, where does your identity lie and do your fears shadow that identity?

 

The Invitation

As the Lord lovingly covers me with His grace, everyday is an adventure.  One that is filled with challenges, but blessings as my Father reveals more of His heart.  Every morning when I wake up, He looks at me, His eyes filled with passion, His hand extended and asks me to dance with Him that day. Am I willing to surrender, pick up the cross, and accept the cup He has given me? This journal unveils the lessons and adventures I face as I learn to dance with my King.

Dara MacLean's lyrics have moved my soul as they beautifully depict my life story.  "Gratitude"

All I have to offer

Is the life I lay before You

You're the One I live for

So let my heart be filled to overflow

Each day brand new

With gratitude

I've been forgiven and now I'm free

Every morning, Your love embraces me

Only You, have satisfied

Only You, have been faithful all my life

This is my life song. This is my passion.  I have but one life to live.  As I "sing my song", "face the open seas", and "learn to dance" one thing will remain true...the Lord is my songwriter, my Captain, and my King. I am completely captivated by Him. 

Grace Like an Ocean

In beginning the second semester of my Sophomore year of college, I had no idea what to expect, but realized that I was spiritually dry.  With God weaving in periods of dark trials and challenges with beautiful conversations, intentional people, and faithful pursuit He gave me the story of the life of a boat.  As I pictured a boat out at sea, He began piecing the story together through the different events happening in my life, forming one analogy after another.  The poem below depicts God's children as living vessels or boats.  The Captain being none other than our Savior.

As the semester is coming to a close, I can look at this poem and verify its meaning.  In times of uncharted territory and loss of control, the door is opened to the overwhelming waves of God's grace and love.  It was in those periods where I could feel the loving arms of my Father hold me. I learned to embrace the storms and adventures with arms wide open, trusting in the faithfulness of God.  Instead of seeing just the dark threads of conflict, bad results, and time of uncertainty, I also saw the brightly colored threads in the promises of His Word, friendships, and growth as well, creating a beautiful masterpiece. Praise Him!

 Grace Like an Ocean                

       Inspired by God, Written by His beloved daughter

 Along the painted coastline is a harbor. A harbor of life. Who are we but desolate sailboats in the wind. Constructed of boards that have long been rotten. But nonetheless vessels for their Captain who takes pride in His handiwork. For we are mere vessels for His purpose, surrendered to His promises.

The Captain is but the wind and the waves, giving life and purpose to an ever broken ship. You are the gentle breeze that catches the sails, the refreshing and misty ocean air that fills the boat’s nostrils and your breathe of wind fills the masts, pumping life into the otherwise dead vessel, reminding the ship of its calling. 

For the ship is consumed with an eternal purpose, possessing characteristics for a predestined plan and will.  Something that has been chartered and designed before time.  As the sunrises and sets, with radiant colors streaking across the skyline, the boat is reminded of the promises and majesty of the Painter, realizing that that same Painter is her Captain.

As the Captain brings each boat to sea, the realization of the boat’s imperfections and brokenness is exposed.  There is no longer security of the docks or consistency of scenery. 

As night turns into day, dark, ominous clouds begin to billow, rain crashes down, and the overbearing force of the wind send the boat into unknown territory.

 Every lashing of the waves sends the boat back into its violent motion. The waves threaten to capsize, appearing to drown the vessel’s only hopes.  The massive sails reseed in fear. The anchor of doubt and fear is released. The wooden ship prays it comes through in one piece. But as debris bobs in the water realizes that in the middle of the storm the weakest structures are exploited and destroyed giving way to areas of improved structures.

The cries of the wood as it creaks under the pressure of the water and wind can be heard over the storm.  At every turn the boat tries to resist being overcome and taken prisoner of the mighty sea.  The boat strains and pulls, weighed down by its anchor.

But in the midst of chaos a voice in the wind calls to the boat to let her sails down and once again receives the wind as a source of life.  The giant waves that once seemed terrifying and unwelcomed, brought peace and comfort.  Refreshing the boat with its consistent rocking. 

Surrounded by open waters, the boat realizes that life out at sea provides many chances for her to fail, to face challenges, and experience adventure, but yet regardless of the outcome of such things will be washed by the grace that fills the ocean.  When looking back at the storms, the threatening waves were not meant to crash the boat, but to overwhelm the boat with His presence and grace.  For if grace is an ocean, we are all sinking.

When repairs need to be made and supplies needed, the ship sets for the safety of the harbor that the Wind has designed it for.  A checkpoint, one of the many wills of the boat planned by her Captain.  However, the harbor can be an intimidating place with foreign boats, and new environments.  The boat approaches timidly and decides to spend the night in the cove, hoping that the harbor will move. As the night unfolds and reveals the beauty of the sunrise, the ship realizes that not only did the harbor not move, but that it doesn’t drag the will of the Creator to her will, but rather she drags herself to His will, trusting that the Captain has traveled to every port and every land, preparing her with the perfect storms for such a place as this.  As she sails into the unfamiliar haven, her open sails that flap in the wind speak of surrender, her enriched structures patched after storms display the loving hand of her Captain, reflecting for all to see His works.

This is the calling that the Captain asks every boat and the promises that He so graciously extends to His masterpieces. Because that is what every vessel is for He never makes anything less.

_______________________

So…who is your creator? Who is the anchor to your soul?

Open your sails and trust your anchor, clothe yourself in strength and dignity, laughing without fear of the future.