God has conveniently placed me geographically hours upon hours away from my college friends, forcing me to focus on "His and I's" relationship, not our relationship through my friends. The question that God seems to keep asking and resurfacing in my mind is, "Without your support group of friends physically around you, without attending a school that encourages you to go to chapel and be with Me, Who am I to you, Who do you believe I am?" In other words, where does my faith stand? Better yet, where is my identity? Is my identity in my friends, future, school, works...or my God, Who is always consistent and the Giver of grace?
Looking ahead to this summer and next school year, I am going to be working at Kanakuk Kamps as a counselor for seven to thirteen year old girls, be a Resident Assistant, and teach an actual lesson to a real class for my teaching practicum, all of which I have never done before. In frantically telling this to one my dear friends Mary, I, for lack of a better term, "word vomited" all my fears and potential failures that could occur, labeling myself as a walking disaster to myself, family, friends, and God!! On top of that, who am I, a nineteen year old girl, to be a camp counselor to these girls, be in charge of a unit, or teach to a classroom filled with students?! And there, in those words, formed my identity crisis paralyzing me from wanting to move forward into the unknown. God spoke through Mary that day and taught me a very valuable lesson on identity.
You see, my identity was based off of works and what I could perform, how much success I would have or not have, how God would disown me for not performing up to par, and how there was no way I was capable of doing any of those jobs. My faith, therefore, was formulated out of works, fears, and status. But fortunately, that is not the life our Lord has called us to live. No matter what you face in life, your identity in the Lord will never change. In giving your life to God, you have been sealed by the blood of Jesus Christ.
"Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." ~2 Corinthians 1:21-22
Regardless of job title, outcome, or friends, your identity will still be a beloved son or daughter of the King. Walking into the situation either of the unknown or known and out of...your identity is anchored in the Constant, freeing you to actually LIVE, not be crippled by your fears of amount or quality of works!
When coming face to face with our drive to work for grace for our identity the Lord says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ to do good works, in which God prepared in advance for us to do." ~Ephesians 2:8-10
What else needs to be said?
What a change in mindset. From "what me, myself, and I can humanly do and perform" identity...to the "steadfast, unwavering love and purpose of being a heir of Jesus Christ" identity. We are free from our fears and doubts. So my friends...shine! Shine your light and walk in confidence of your identity in your beloved Father, no matter where He might take you.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small
Does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine,
As children do.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us;
It's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we're liberated from our own fear,
~Marianne Williamson
The questions then become, where does your identity lie and do your fears shadow that identity?
